See Others as God Does

I had the blessing one night of see my dear wife as God sees her… or at least to the extent that I am able. This moment of clarity gave me great insight as to just how precious we all are. Such a gift it would be to regularly see others and yourself, as God does.

Hidden Spirituality

I realized tonight, while reading some of my non-posted writings, what it is that’s been holding me back from expressing myself as freely as I would like. It’s actually something that has surfaced time and time again in my life, often causing me to do things I regret.

Many experiences in my life, most of which were the result of simple but honest prayer, have instilled within me a very personal testimony of the Gospel, and more specifically a deep love for my Father in Heaven. And the thing which so often causes me to stop short or causes me to undermine my efforts, is a fear of being in a position or role where I represent something I am incapable of living up to, or at least to the extent I would like to. This was actually easier as a missionary when I was a stranger… just a kid with a name tag. But among friends and family I find it incredibly difficult to show the depths of my spirituality for I cannot bear to discredit that which is so precious to me. And so it is through this blog, I will allow myself to share my core with those who care to look.

In an attempt to feel more comfortable sharing a broader spectrum of my inner world, I posted a journal entry from my mission. It is post dated May 7, 1995 (currently the first post in this blog).

Note: I of course have only myself to blame for any hindrance to personal growth and development.

Chrysalis

I find that life in the south suits me very well, if life in Huntsville can be considered southern. Most the people here have moved in from other states due to all the technology companies and the army base; some call it the silicon valley of the south.

I went for a walk today and soaked in nature... I can't really find the words I'm looking for, but I know that I have a deep sense of appreciation for life, and not just for the mortal experience. As I get older, I find it much easier to cherish not only the moments but the entire experience of being.

It's strange that though I have not been exploring my inner world much, I feel it stirring a great deal. I feel as though I have much to express and yet I find myself holding back as though I'm waiting for something. It actually feels like some sort chrysalis experience.

Fundamental Growth

For several months now I have had a desire to write and express my thoughts but knew not where to begin.

I seem to be gaining a deeper understanding and appreciation of fundamental truths. My frustration in trying to share these new insights with others is that I find myself saying the same things I’ve heard all my life i.e. nothing new.

I’m beginning to realizing that the most simple and basic of principles which can be covered in a single primary lesson, are in truth the greatest mysteries and require many years before gaining the smallest comprehension of how deep they truly go; at which point you again realize how simple they are. These are lessons that can be taught by man, but are only understood through the Spirit.

The topics of which I speak are love, family, acceptance or surrender to Gods will, and light. OK, maybe the last one isn’t a primary topic. (Smirk)

Conclusion: In my youth I sought after perfection, which proved to be a source of much frustration and inner turmoil. I’m now returning to basics in hopes of taking a few small steps in the right direction. If I can find happiness in the success of others, if I can find fulfillment in unrecognized service to a stranger, if I can both give and receive in a spirit of appreciation, and if I can apply this attribute of love in my life to the extent of being a source of some good upon the very small realm of my influence, I will consider my life a great success.