Hidden Spirituality

I realized tonight, while reading some of my non-posted writings, what it is that’s been holding me back from expressing myself as freely as I would like. It’s actually something that has surfaced time and time again in my life, often causing me to do things I regret.

Many experiences in my life, most of which were the result of simple but honest prayer, have instilled within me a very personal testimony of the Gospel, and more specifically a deep love for my Father in Heaven. And the thing which so often causes me to stop short or causes me to undermine my efforts, is a fear of being in a position or role where I represent something I am incapable of living up to, or at least to the extent I would like to. This was actually easier as a missionary when I was a stranger… just a kid with a name tag. But among friends and family I find it incredibly difficult to show the depths of my spirituality for I cannot bear to discredit that which is so precious to me. And so it is through this blog, I will allow myself to share my core with those who care to look.

In an attempt to feel more comfortable sharing a broader spectrum of my inner world, I posted a journal entry from my mission. It is post dated May 7, 1995 (currently the first post in this blog).

Note: I of course have only myself to blame for any hindrance to personal growth and development.